Because I'm Watching Page 23

  He had wanted to die for them.

  But was Maddie right? Did he owe his brainiacs a sacrifice? Or did he owe them a celebration of life, a greater life, a life lived more fully to make up for the time they had forever lost?

  And was that nothing but his own cowardice speaking, urging him to stay on this earth when he should leap to his death?

  Because whether he sacrificed himself or lived for tomorrow, Maddie was definitely right about one thing—no one else owed his kids this debt.

  Only him.

  Only Jacob.

  He himself had to make that decision. And he had to make it soon.

  She fucked him!

  I can tell. Bc she’s happy.

  I’ll make her sorry.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  As soon as Kateri drove her police cruiser up to Norway Hall, she knew she was in the right place. Shiny blue ribbons decorated lampposts, the same kind of ribbons that decorated Sienna’s box lunches.

  Cute. Pretty decorations and subliminal advertising at the same time. Sienna never missed a trick.

  And Kateri reeked of bitchy cynicism.

  Also, the sign outside proclaimed, LUIS AND SIENNA’S ENGAGEMENT PARTY! COME ON IN!

  Two exclamation points. Adorable.

  Kateri was late. One of the tourists had done her the favor of smoking shit and steering his rental ever so slowly into a ditch, and by the time she finished arresting him for driving while impaired and arranging to have his car towed, she considered not going to the two-exclamation-point engagement party. After all, who could blame her?

  She had to go, of course. Had to show up with a smile on her face, a gift in her hand, and congratulations on her tongue. She wished she were a better actress, because somebody—everybody—in this town was going to gossip about her and Luis, and the entertainment for the evening would be scrutinizing the Native American female candidate for sheriff for immanent breakdown, or at least cracks in her façade. She had puttied those cracks, but a too-close examination might reveal that her toothy smile was wide and fixed.

  She grabbed the gift bag—she’d picked up a blue Fiesta dinnerware gravy boat from one of the shops downtown—then hesitated about taking her walking stick. With her sometimes unsteady balance, the stick was useful in a crowd. Yet for no good reason she didn’t want to carry it. It wasn’t vanity, exactly, more her desire to appear healthy, strong, and confident.

  Okay, that was vanity. But surely vanity for a good reason.

  Taking a deep breath, she joined the crowd streaming toward the hall.

  Some people sneered in her direction—the ones who intended to vote against her, she supposed—but most greeted her with smiles and waves. The prospect of free food and drink fueled the party atmosphere, and none of the guests seemed aware that Kateri had reason to feel betrayed by the guy who had been her best friend.

  She didn’t have a reason, really. Luis hadn’t made Kateri any promises. If he wanted to marry Sienna, he could.

  But damn him, he could have told her face-to-face. That Sienna-wrapped invitation had been humiliating and distasteful.

  On the porch Cordelia sat on the concrete step, alone and intently eating herring salad off a paper plate.

  Kateri stopped beside her. “Hello, Cordelia. Are you enjoying the party?”

  Without lifting her head, Cordelia said, “They tried to put more than one kind of food on my plate at a time.”

  “The hostesses? The Ladies of Norway?” Kateri clarified.

  “Yes. They don’t know how to properly serve me, and Rainbow is busy dancing with the hot firefighter.”

  “Which hot firefighter?” In Kateri’s opinion, Virtue Falls boasted several.

  For the first time, Cordelia lifted her gaze. “The handsome one. Hot is another adjective for handsome. Sheriff Kwinault, I didn’t realize it was you. Why did you tell me you’d found and rescued the little girl who was being held hostage?”

  Pause. “We did.” Natalie was a hundred miles from here and safe as part of a loving family. Kateri knew that was true; that morning she had talked to her.

  “You didn’t get the girl I was tracking.”

  A warning bell rang in Kateri’s head. “Do you have more texts?”

  “Yes.”

  Cordelia was reporting another captive child. Two abused girls in Virtue Falls? Anything was possible, but this was so unlikely … surely Cordelia with her off-the-beaten-track mind had misunderstood. “Would you send the texts to me?” Kateri asked.

  “Yes. After I eat.”

  “Later?”

  “Tomorrow.” Cordelia dove back into her herring salad.

  Kateri tapped her fingers against her leg. She couldn’t force Cordelia to send the texts now. She wouldn’t be able to judge the menace until she read them. And right now, like it or not, she had an engagement party to attend.

  She followed the aromas wafting out the door and walked into the large room with pillars decorated with those same damn glittery blue ribbons. Come to think of it, the blue matched Sienna’s eyes. More subliminal advertising, Kateri supposed.

  In here, the crowd was dense, probably more than the occupant limit for the hall. But the fire chief wasn’t going to shut them down, especially since he was standing not far away with a grin and a plate laden with every goodie the Ladies of Norway could dish up.

  The town had turned out for Luis and Sienna’s engagement party. The Coast Guard attended en masse. The mayor was there, the councilmen, Kateri’s law enforcement officers. Young people Sienna’s age and old people Margaret’s age. Kateri could hear everyone exclaiming ecstatically about the food. If she was a bitch, she would say they had merely come to eat.

  But she knew it wasn’t true. Everyone liked and respected Luis, and everyone adored Sienna. She was one of those pretty women who always smiled, who was always successful, who never seemed to struggle and yet always won … and she’d won this one, too. She had Luis. Somehow she’d caught Luis.

  Kateri was almost grateful when Deputy Bergen and his wife walked up. “Quite a do, isn’t it?” Bergen asked.

  “It is. The food smells great.” The odors turned Kateri’s stomach.

  “Very good food,” Bergen said. “As usual, the Ladies of Norway outdid themselves, and I understand Sienna had a hand in some of the traditional specialties.”

  Sandra Bergen said, “Which explains why Mrs. Erikson, who runs the kitchen, wears such a sour, pinched expression.”

  Kateri laughed. “Oh, dear. Sienna had better watch herself. We’ve had enough incidents in Virtue Falls.” She thought about the suspicious texts Cordelia claimed to have. “We don’t want another poisoning, too.”

  “How are you?” Sandra hugged Kateri rather forcibly. “You haven’t been by the house for a while.”

  “It’s summertime and the tourists provide us with lots to do.” And what with the election rivalry, visiting is awkward. Kateri gestured to Bergen, who had lately turned in as many late nights as she had. “As you well know.”

  “Yes, he’s busy, too.” Sandra patted her husband’s arm. “I never know when he’s going to be home for dinner.”

  “Yes, well … how are your daughters?”

  Sandra smiled fondly. “Good. Summers are my busy time, too, with them off school and doing every activity you can imagine. I live in my car.”

  Pretty soon we’ll be discussing the weather. Kateri hated this: the stilted conversation with a woman she once would have called a friend, the strained relationship with the deputy she admired, the knowledge the three of them were being watched and their demeanor judged by every Virtue Falls citizen. It really couldn’t get worse.…

  Then it did.

  From behind her, a light female voice said, “Sheriff Kwinault! I’m so glad you could come to our celebration.”

  Kateri swiveled to face Sienna, who was glowing in a blue silk maxi dress and sequined sandals. And Luis, standing beside and behind her and devastatingly handsome in his Coast Guard dress
blues.

  “Thank you for inviting me. You have a wonderful turnout.” Kateri smiled until it hurt.

  Sienna did the double cheek kiss with such expertise she never touched Kateri’s arms or face. “We invited everybody we could think of to celebrate our joy with us.”

  Translation: You’re nothing special.

  Kateri kept smiling hard. “When is the special day?”

  “As soon as Luis can get time off, we’re eloping to Reno! Isn’t that right, Luis?” Sienna hugged Luis’s arm.

  “Yes.” Luis’s gaze collided with Kateri’s.

  They both looked away.

  “Since it’s the first wedding for you both, I had hoped for a church ceremony,” Sandra said. Sandra was a traditionalist.

  “In situations like this, well—the sooner the better!” Sienna pressed her hand to her belly.

  Kateri noted that the air in Norway Hall was suddenly hot as hell and twice as smelly.

  Luis looked embarrassed and pained, like a man who had his pecker in a wringer. As he should.

  Sienna was pregnant. Luis and Sienna were having a baby.

  Luis had been dating Kateri and sleeping with Sienna. The bastard.

  The only saving grace was—Bergen and Sandra looked as stunned as Kateri felt. So everybody didn’t know!

  Sandra blurted, “You’re expecting a blessed event! Oh, my, I never thought…” Now she glanced at Kateri, at Luis, then back at Sienna.

  Bergen rescued them all. “Congratulations!” He offered his hand to Luis, then Sienna, and shook heartily.

  “We’re not telling anyone yet,” Sienna said.

  “I’m sure everyone will be discreet.” Luis sounded annoyed.

  “No point in that. She’ll be showing soon.” Kateri no longer gave a damn about appearances. As soon as this hellish conversation concluded, she was out of here.

  But because she’d apparently been evil in her former life, bad stuff kept coming.

  Noah stepped up and said, “What a great shot for the newspaper. Both candidates for sheriff and the happy couple. Gather close and say cheese.”

  “Cheese” was not what Kateri wanted to say.

  At once Sienna began to orchestrate matters. “What a wonderful idea! We’ll stand in the middle. Deputy and Mrs. Bergen, you stand to our right. Sheriff Kwinault, you stand to our left.” Sienna tugged Luis around where she wanted him, which was close to the Bergens and far from Kateri. That left Kateri in her rumpled police uniform and her tall, broken body standing next to petite, beautifully dressed, widely smiling Sienna.

  Nothing could rescue this moment.…

  From behind them, a man’s deep voice intruded. “Just a minute. Let me get into the picture, too.” A large hand settled intimately on the base of Kateri’s spine.

  She straightened in shock.

  A man’s lips touched her cheek and a flute of something sparkly was thrust in front of her. Close to her ear, yet loud enough for everyone to hear, he said, “Darling, as soon as I saw you had arrived I fetched us both a glass of Cascade Ice and I almost missed the photo op.”

  Even without turning, without looking, she knew who it was. She recognized the voice, the confidence, the height, the assured line of bullshit. “Stag Denali,” she said, and smiled at the camera. “I was wondering where you were.”

  CHAPTER FORTY

  That wasn’t a lie. Since Rainbow had told Kateri Stag Denali was in town, Kateri had been wondering when she would run into him. Now he had come to her rescue in a way that made that tight knot of irritation and humiliation loosen and become relaxed amusement.

  “Are we ready now?” Noah lifted the camera and snapped several shots. “There. That should give us at least one shot with everyone’s eyes open.” He stepped close to Kateri and transformed himself from newspaper reporter to campaign manager. “You should work the room.”

  Normally she would feel rebellious about campaigning at a celebration. Now with Bergen and Sandra and Luis and Sienna staring agog at her and Stag, working the room seemed exactly the right thing to do. “I’ve got my marching orders.” She lifted her glass toward Luis and Sienna. “Congratulations again!” And toward Bergen and Sandra. “Only a few days until the election and we’ll be back to normal. Thank God, huh?”

  Heads nodded.

  Sienna’s white, cap-toothed smile wavered and widened. And wavered.

  How nice. The hussy didn’t know whether to be glad or horrified.

  Kateri didn’t even glance at Luis. “I’d better get something to eat before it’s all gone!” She marched toward the food line.

  Stag followed.

  When he caught up, she knew exactly what to say. “Thank you so much.”

  He chuckled deep in his chest. “I had to do it. You looked like a field mouse being dive-bombed by a hunting hawk. That Sienna person is a piece of work.” Putting his hand on Kateri’s elbow, he brought her to a halt and turned her to face him. “Let me look at you.”

  She stood still under his scrutiny and took the opportunity to look him over, too.

  In the ten years since she had seen him, he had grown more tan, more spare, older, tougher. He had a scar on his throat and a ruby on his finger that glimmered like a spill of blood. He wore tailored black jeans that hugged his long legs and a crisp white dress shirt that hugged his broad shoulders. His thick black hair tumbled across his forehead so stylishly she suspected a weekly trim. He really should have smelled like money, but no—as always, he wafted testosterone like an expensive perfume, and as they walked by, women did a double take.

  His dark eyes scrutinized the rings under her eyes and her long hair held back with an elastic band and he said, “You’ve changed.”

  Since she’d always tended toward a lack of elegance with a touch of dishevelment, she assumed he was talking about her scars. “Being eaten by the frog god will do that.”

  Being Stag, he didn’t doubt her for a minute. “I heard he’d had you for dinner. That bastard is damn scary.”

  She glanced around. “Don’t insult him. Not here. He has good ears and a vengeful disposition.”

  Stag’s dark eyes got darker and deeper like a wishing well that would deliver on its promises. “I’ll remember. You used to be pretty. Now you bear a warrior’s scars and have a warrior’s power, and you’re beautiful.”

  How like him to focus not on her disfigurement, but how her injuries had made her stronger. She smiled at him. “And you’re still full of shit. What are you doing in Virtue Falls?”

  “Would you believe me if I told you I came for you?”

  “No.”

  “Okay then. I’m going to install a casino on the reservation.”

  She exhaled slowly. “I like the first reason better. Come on, Stag, don’t do it! There’ll be more of everything. More drunk driving, more suicides, more prostitution, more people stranded here because they’re broke—”

  “More tourists. More employment and more money for the Native Americans.” He squeezed her shoulder. “More work for the new sheriff.”

  “Good thing I’m behind in the polls.” She didn’t really mean it, but damn. A casino was going to change the complexion of the county and probably not for the better.

  “When’s the election?”

  “Tuesday. I hear mail-in ballets are already rolling in.”

  “Okay then. Drink your water. It’ll help you make campaign promises.”

  “Do I have to? Make campaign promises?” She sipped the water.

  “Do you love the job?”

  She had never been so sincere. “It’s what I was born to do.”

  “Then yes. Campaign promises are part of being elected sheriff. It’s not like you’re going to tell people lies. You are going to say that you’ll keep them safe and put the bad guys in jail and protect the innocent.” He made it sound so straightforward. “Isn’t that what you do?”

  “To the best of my ability.”

  “There you are.” With his warm hand placed intimately on
her lower spine, he steered her toward a table of senior citizens. “Go suck up. The elderly vote.”

  He was pretty fresh for a guy she hadn’t seen in ten years, and too knowledgeable about the important people in town.

  But she had always liked him; his powerful aura kept the Mr. Caldwells of this world civil, and his wicked, potent charm fascinated the nice members of the populace. He helped her forget the stinging humiliation of attending Luis’s engagement party and made campaigning almost a pleasure. When, at the end of the evening, he offered to take her home, she handed her keys to Moen with instructions to take her cruiser to the police lot, and she left with Stag.

  She enjoyed Luis’s chagrin, Rainbow’s astonishment, and she could almost hear the swell of gossip behind her. But what difference did it make? The voters needed to remember how she performed as sheriff, and regardless of what everyone always said, an election would never be won or lost on a single vote.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  All morning while construction went on around him, Jacob sat in his chair and mutely stared across the street. Plywood was going up on the sidewalls. Double-pane windows were being framed in. The crew were intent on their work, yet occasionally they chatted and joked, believing Jacob had returned to normal. Or at least he was less crazy.

  Was he less crazy?

  If anything, he thought he was crazier.

  Because—he was no longer concentrating on right and wrong, his sorrow or his guilt. Instead, he was thinking about sex. All the time. Sex.

  When weariness from the long night overtook him and he found himself napping in his chair, he didn’t dream about Dr. Kim whispering in his ear while his brainiacs screamed and died.

  No, he dreamed of a slight, welcoming body, warm, embracing arms, and the scent of a woman aroused and then satisfied.

  Awake he concentrated on those dark moments in North Korea when his soldiers begged for mercy and when helplessness robbed him of his self-respect.

  Then his mind would wander, and before he knew it, he was contemplating making love with Maddie. How soon could they do it again? And where? In the bed? In the yard? In his car he had parked in the garage and forgotten?